Waiting

Ahh drats, Vesak Day is gone in a blink of an eye. I really wish it was Friday.

Anyhow, work's been really boring. No experiments conducted yet, perhaps in Mid-June or something. So I've been slacking much in office, watching Big Bang Theory, Facebooking, etc. And I really wonder what I am doing there most of the time. It can be so suffocating most of the time. So in the morning I look forward to lunch, then after lunch, I look forward to like 5pm, and get ready to leave the office. Then everyday I count down to Friday. What a life. Can't wait for July 22nd, so super badly. :/

So yeah, I passed my driving. But strangely, I don't feel like driving at all ever since I passed. Perhaps cos I don't own the car and so I feel bad using it. Whenever I drive, I totally forgot the basic rules. But I get use to it within 5 minutes. Lol.

Nothing exciting at all ever since internship started, except for the fact that I went to USS one of the days when I worked from home. HAHA it was like the best time of my internship. Really dying to go USS. Speaking of which, I've been spending lots of money lately and my pay hasn't come in. -.- Which is good to a certain extent, so I won't easily splurge on things I don't need and is more of a want.

Sigh, can't spend much money, everyday face the computer, go home catch up on my hongkong dramas, then sleep. Feel like a prisoner or something. Zzz. Then the weekends fly by like within seconds or something. Next Saturday, is back to school for the whole day for some lame test and then a new project starts, again. Then it's back to work and study at the same time.

Semester 3.1's really tough to live through. I really can't imagine 3.2. Gosh.

Tired max. Everything seems so darn bleak right now, but I know God has His plans for me, that I can never see or understand. It's really tough to keep waiting:/

I need to channel and divert my negative thoughts to exercising. Put on 1.5-2kg within like 2 weeks I guess. No idea what happened. Lol

Learning to love my internship. Perhaps there'd be exciting stuffs to do - just that everything seems not what I had thought it would have been like. Internship is boring and I am still waiting to discover things that are interesting and exciting.

What a bummer now. 

Question is, is nutrition/dietetics even my thing? I am quite scared, but yet I really wanna try out how is it like being a nutritionist/dietitian. It is at such times, I learn and try to thank God with whatever I have now and continue to pray what awaits me. I still really can't figure out why He put me here for my internship and of course I am not blaming Him or anything. Just being really curious, puzzled, a little disappointed and sad. But I guess I can't see why yet that's why. And so, I am trying really hard to love my job for now, though the travelling time and distance really suck. And it's really difficult to actually even accept it, what more to love it.

Big day is arriving next Saturday and I really can't stop thinking about it. Bleagh, it's affecting my mood for work and concentration during work.

Dying to get my license before my membership expires.

All is well through divine Providence

Internship starting the day after tomorrow and I'm feeling so super darn nervous about it. New environment, long bumming travelling hours, new friends/colleagues, new way of working, etc. Besides that, there's also a crappy Food Safety module, which will take up my night resting time at home, killing me even more. Darn, thinking of the project works and interning at the same time makes me feel ultra bummed. Now i am so ready to look forward to the next Friday and the subsequent Fridays.

Really feeling scared - how if the work I'm suppose to do isn't interesting? how if i get to make weird, sucky colleagues? how if the work is tough? so many questions about what's in store for me. Sometimes I wanna know the future without experiencing it, but that's obviously impossible, that wouldn't be life anymore. What can I say? and What can I do? But offer my future to God and completely rely on divine providence. I really hope for a good start, but no matter what the start is like, I must and will count onto God, because I know HE can only help me get my life into the right position, and make wonderful plans for me.

And so for the next first 2 weeks of the new semester, new year (3.1), it's gonna be challenging, tiring, nerve-wrecking, a new beginning, filled with many different emotions, meeting new people, etc since I've also my driving test to prepare for. And truth be told, that's the 3rd thing I am already feeling nervous for. I am dying to pass and get my driving license. One, so I don't have and really don't want to waste anymore money renewing my membership and continuing lessons. Two, it's super tiring to have my internship, projects and driving lessons going on at the same time and that'd be the last thing I would ever want. Three, I wanna drive freely on the road, having an official drivers' license and not a pathetic provisional driving license when I drive. Four, I wanna celebrate my 19th birthday happily, with an official driving license. Seriously, I'm gonna pray hard for this. 2011 is gonna be a wonderful year, so much better than 2010.

The best, amazing and touching thing is, amongst all these worrying, excitement, nerve-wrecking situations, God has been and will always be around and I was, is and will, never be alone. I will always remember the times when I've experienced HIM. It's really difficult not to be nervous, not to worry and not to feel negative about things and not to sin - the weaknesses of human-nature. But we have been set apart from God to receive great strength from HIM against formidable foes. And because of this, I can face tomorrow, I can live my life to the fullest, I can be confident in God and I will always pray.

"Trust God's promises, and God will bring victory."

Amen.

So what?

Confused mind